Today is Friday, May 18, 2012
After weeks of diligently beating back unsubstantiated rumors of government run “death panels” which would dictate the fates of the elderly, President Barack Obama today signaled that he is now open to the idea.
Speaking to an AP reporter after a particularly…
Read the Full Storyby Edith Falin
Wasilla, AK — I should start by thanking Nonsensical News for giving me this column. A housewife and mother of five, such as myself, can get a little bored once all the sweeping is done, doncha know. It’s so…
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Churchill, AK – In a place with as little a human population as Wapusk National Park, it’s nearly impossible to keep anything a secret for very long. Rumors have been flying for weeks that world famous singer-songwriter Phil Collins recently made a…
New York City, NY – 5th and Broadway, the usually bustling thoroughfare of Manhattan, is silent to today. Sounds of taxi’s honking, people talking, music playing – the area’s typical soundtrack – is today muffled by the soft fur of hundreds of…
Sacramende, CA – The glistening white explosion, the tinkling crash against the wall, the miniature shards you won’t find in the carpet until a week later with your foot…You’ve just thrown some fine china!
It’s happened to all of us, whether we…
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Kutuchen, AK – Tragedy struck the small Alaskan town of Kutuchen this week as the beloved town wolf was shot, raped and then made to pay her own rape kit. Curtisa Mayfield, a silver-bellied razor back, has been living among the citizens…
Carson City, NV – Every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday for the past seven years, I do the exact same thing. I wake up at 8:45am, shower, get dressed and hit the freeway. I work at a corporate office in the…
New York, NY – Fashion guru Giorgio Armani has shocked us all once again, this time with a Spring ’09 runway show centered on luxury flight suits.
Mr. Armani, the internationally acclaimed mogul of the Armani fashion empire, is the first fashion…
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Orange County, CA — A new development broke last night in a string of grizzly killings that has haunted the Southland for these past three summer months. The Department of Homeland Forensics has just released the shocking detail that the recent murders…
Burbank, CA — What kind of music do you like? It’s an innocent enough question. Now, have you ever tried asking a tomato? No, of course you haven’t. Guess again, succotash. Tomatoes love jazz. And nectarines enjoy blues.…
Dallas, TX – In a move designed to rock opera fans, tough guys and ironic youth all at the same time, Dallas Opera Director George Steel announced this week that the director of this Fall’s performance of Mozart’s 1791 masterpiece Die Zauberflote…
Churchill, AK – In a place with as little a human population as Wapusk National Park, it’s nearly impossible to keep anything a secret for very long. Rumors have been flying for weeks that world famous singer-songwriter Phil Collins recently made a…
Nonsense News is a collection of fake news articles. If you find the stories within to be funny, strange, crazy or just plain weird, that's because they're false, not real, and definitely not to be believed. Our headlines are made up, our quotes are misquoted, and our reports are fabricated... in short, this website is for entertainment purposes only.