Funny Business News Articles

Purchase, NY – Protesters have gathered outside of Mastercard’s global headquarters to denounce the new – literally platinum – credit card to be released by the company this fall. Protesters say that the card is designed only to flaunt extreme wealth and…

Philadelphia, PA – Ever since its first mass distribution by Macy’s in 1952, Scrabble (named for a word which means “to scratch frantically”) has been a source of mystery for the millions who play it repeatedly despite the fact that they…

Huntsville, AL – Alabama native Carl North’s visit to a local bookstore ended in disaster yesterday when his tragic misinterpretation of the basic concept of karma led him on an unstoppable rampage through the store.

Having stumbled into the “Other Divination” section…

NEW YORK, NY – In a tragic episode of miscommunication, local tourist Arthur Marmoset wandered onto the stock trading floor of NASDAQ while on vacation in New York and received what he described as “[very awful] directions.”

Marmoset, 43, is a…

Ann Arbor, MI — The University of Michigan contingent of the UPS Shipping Co. filed charges of Image Infringement on Monday against FedEx Unlimited. The suit alleges that Fed Ex has overstepped its corporate bounds by altering its dress code requirements…

Manhattan, NY – When the news hit the New York Stock Exchange around 10:30 AM yesterday morning, the frenzy was described as “frenzied.” Children walked out of classrooms and in Germany, rioters refused to riot, leaving public spaces open and empty. Actually,…