Today is Friday, July 03, 2009
Honolulu, HI - At a recent screening of 90’s classic Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, University of Hawaii sophomore Natalie Umbilika, having just declared herself a zoology major, offered up her new-found expertise to some of her new-found college friends.
The movie is about…
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Santa Cruz, CA - After a long and active life, local man Steve Forino’s futon has finally been thrown out. Forino put the futon on curb outside his apartment at 9pm Sunday evening. The futon, a full-sized green mattress, was purchased at…
The public argument over who runs the Republican party took a bizarre turn yesterday as Rush Limbaugh demanded on his radio show that “true conservatives show their fealty and give me a sacrifice worthy of my greatness.”
Limbaugh has been the center point…
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Maria Stefanopolis, an upcoming star in professional tennis, has enough endorsement deals to spell success in any genre. The blonde haired, blue eyed athlete has secured deals with many athletic wear lines, as well as perfumes, evening wear, and lingerie, and is…
Toronto, CANADA - Many, many units were heated yesterday in the small, northerly hovel known to most as Toronto. As can be imagined, in such an inhospitable, bitter climate (where hardly beast nor man dare venture), the unit heating was met with…
Aides to President Barack Obama have been complaining this past of week of the President’s behavior during meetings. Speaking on condition of anonymity, several high-level staffers have said that the President has seemed distracted since being granted his super-secure blackberry device this…
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Jersey City, NJ - In eternal wise-guy fashion, regular riders of the PATH train have adapted the emergency defibrillators recently installed in their stations to a wide variety of uses.
The PATH train, which stands for Port Authority Trans-Hudson Corporation, is a train…
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Baton Rouge, LA - The sun is shining on the baseball diamond at Shaker’s Field this morning where a group of school children found themselves miserably defeated yesterday. The rag tag assortment of kids, through teamwork and love, overcame all odds and…
Huntsville, AL – Nelson Mervin of local software firm SoftHere, was excited to learn that his firm had purchased two VOIP Gateways. That was, until he learned that the gateway had absolutely nothing to do with inter-dimensional travel.
“There was like half a…
Read the Full StoryBy Jimmy Wallenstein
Throwing up their Hands: The Arthur Hadley Wemedges
Arthur and Denise Hadley Wemedge of Harrison, NY and Key Montreux, FL officially sundered their union this afternoon in the clubhouse of Winged Hoof, the nation’s most exclusive golf club that is also…
Orlando, FL – Larry Stevens threw a party Thursday night, inviting his guests to bring hors d’oeuvres and plenty of plastic wrap. The 29 year old Orlando man is just one of many young attorneys, litigators, and even administrative assistants in their…
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